Castle: Holding my heart
by nilescclover
Summary: When Alexis is kiddnaped Castle's world collapes. Can Beckett and her team find them before Castle does something he will regret? Thank-you for the reviews and followers. Winks. Has a happy ending!
1. Chapter 1

**I saw a chemical about Castle coming to TNT, so I watched the marathon Wed and Thursday (thanksgiving-of all days). I never laughed so hard at a tv series, I was hooked. I know that I have a lot to catching up to do but I had an idea for a story so I started writing it. I almost finished it in one day (sat-11/24/12). Wow! who would have thought, I hope that my chapters are long enough, I never know. ****so here is chapter one,(that's all I've typed, and being Sunday it's NFL day-yes girls watch NFL too, no one interrupt that well except for Castle-winks) all comments are welcomed-good or bad. Tell me what you think. ****also if something is missed spelled or wrong content tell me, for English/lit was not my thing in school, but I love to write and blubber on I see, anyway here's my 1st story of Castle. ****I had a different title yesterday, but this one seems to fit it better.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx**

**Holding my heart  
by Missteff**  
**11/24/12**  
**Chapter 1:**

**Please read chapter by chapter**

_"Come on Alexis, We're going to be late." Martha yelled from the bottom of the stairs._  
_"Coming Gramps, I forgot something."_

"Then she raced back upstairs, and..." Martha sniffed. "That's the last thing that she said to me..." Martha again busted into tears. "That's all I remember..." she sobbed between words.

"I don't know what happened...I..." she placed her face in her hands continuing to cry. "I..."

"What about Castle?" A familiar voice asked. Beckett was called as soon as Martha could reach the phone.

"He's...he's gonna die." Martha was now crying harder then before. What was she going to do with him.

Castle stood in line at his favorite coffee shop he always went to every morning. "what is taking so long," he mumbled to himself standing at the counter. The cashier finally placed his two coffees down in front of him. "Finally," Grabbing his coffee he turned to see Ryan and Esposito, both who took the cups that he had put in his cup holder, something that he did every morning. Bringing Be coffee was his thing. He wanted to see her smile at him. That made his day worth getting up for. Made him feel...what warm and fuzzy inside. He shook the thought.

"Hey that's for Beckett and me."

"Not today bro," Esposito took a sip. "Not today." Castle sighed as he looked at another line growing, how was he going to get his coffee now.

"Where's Beckett anyway?" he asked looking around the coffee shop excepting her to be with the guys.

"All ready at the scene," Ryan commented drinking Castle's coffee. "Let's go."

"She told you I was here didn't she?"

"Um..." Esposito shook his head at Ryan not to tell Castle about his daughter yet, "Not here." he whispered. "I'm not leaving without my coffee." Castle went back up to the counter."Two more coffee's the same please."

"Hey, how does he get to skip line, he already got his coffee." someone in line shouted.

"NYPD." shouted Es waving his badge up high.

"Sorry, go ahead."

"That's more like it," Castle said, "When can I get my badge?"  
Both Ryan and Esposito chuckled at that.

"Yeah right," Ryan was now laughing a little louder.

"What's so funny guys,"

"Just is bro, just is." Castle wasn't used to riding with just the guys. So he stared out the window watching the streets fly by. He noticed that Ryan was heading in the wrong direction, he was driving towards Castles apartment. Castle leaning forward in his seat, "Why are we going this way?"  
That's when he saw all the cops cars with lights flashing in front of his building.

"No!" he scream and was out the door before Ryan could turn his head to tell him.

"Castle wait." Ryan shouted.

"To late Ry, he's probably already in the house."

Castle flew up the stairs for the 3rd floor and skidded to a holt when he saw Beckett sitting with his mother.

"Oh no...Where's..." Then he saw the look on his mother's face, he dropped his coffee going to his knees.

"No...not my...baby." he balled up in a fetal position. "no.!"

TBC...


	2. chapter 2

**I don't own Castle, or its characters**

******Please read chapter by chapter**

**Holding my heart**  
**Chapter 2**

Beckett had never seen him so...so hurt. When she looked over at him she saw not that annoying 10-year boy on a sugar rush but a caring man, caring father. _Oh the pain that he must feel._ She stared at him as Esposito and Ryan helped him stand up. "Let's sit him over here, Ry." They guided him to a couch where he just fell back.

"Breath..." Ryan kept repeating to Castle. After a few seconds Castle calmed down. Both Ryan and Esposito nodded over at Beckett.

Slowly she made her way to the couch, and sat next to him. She took his hand in hers, he didn't seem to notice at frist then He glanced up at her with a tear streaks down his face. "Is she..." he sniffed, trying to hold back more tears. "Where is she? I want to see her..." Castle started to get up. Beckett held on to him. She mainly was afraid that he was going to fall, to her he didn't look all that steady on his feet. She didn't like seeing him like this. Where, oh where is that annoying little boy, the one with that goofy grin, she came to know. She wanted to wipe his tears away and hold him. But right now they had important things to do. Like find his daughter before...she shook that thought from her mind. _Alexis is fine...she just got to be._

"She's," Beckett swallowed. "She's only missing."

"Missing?" Castle sat back down on the couch and Beckett swears she could hear an exhale of relieve come out of him. _That might be a good thing but still we must hurry to find her._ "I don't understand...I thought...I was gone..." Castle's words were all jumbled together.

"Yes, kiddo I know." his mother finally spoke to him. "I was rushing her this morning..."

"You were here mother?" He faced his mother hoping that she might have some answers. Hoping that this was all a bad dream that he was going to wake up from soon. "what did you see?"

"Nothing, she ran back upstairs..." Martha sniffed. "and that's the last I saw." she glanced over at Castle, saw the pain in his eyes and started crying all over again. "her...my precious Alexis." she rubbed her nose. Esposito handed her a tissue. " Thank you dear." she blew her nose.

As Martha was retelling what she remembers about the earlier hours, Castle stared at the staircase. Waiting for what?  
waiting for his little girl to walk back down. He couldn't believe that his baby girl was gone...possibliy..._don't go there Rick_ the voice in his head said. _She will be fine, she's a fighter_. "We will find her Castle," Beckett leaned in to hug him. "We will," she whispered in his ear. "I promise you that."

The one thing that he knew about Beckette, so far anyway, was that she never promised something if she couldn't deliver. One way or another they would get Alexis back. They had the best determined, cop out there looking. Well, why weren't they looking instead of just sitting around.

Castle untangle himself from Beckett arms. She thought that he might bolt but he just stood there. Right in front of her. She closed her eyes for a second. _What's going though his mind? I can't imagine._ Beckett felt his pain, for Alexis was his universe and now that was crumbling...When Beckett opened her eyes again Castle was gone, like he too vanished. She gave a look over at Martha who just pointed up. She had to help him find his daughter but where to start.  
_Start like you do every case Beckett,_ her mind told her. "Ryan," she shouted a little to much.

"Yes, boss."

"You take the surveillance from the hallways ect.. Check every camera. There's got to be something. Esposito,"

"I know, I'll talk to neighbors, see if anyone saw anything." The boys went their own direction. Beckett hesitated at the stairs should she go check on Castle? or did he need time to get his thoughts together. _I know that I couldn't when...when my mother died. I needed someone...I had_...she remembered the book that Castle had signed just for her. That was the only thing that got her through the death of her mother. Martha walked up behind her. "Go, sweetie, he needs you. He might not admit it but he does. He's...we are all hurting, I can only do so much for him."

Beckett slowly started to climb the stairs to the next floor. What was she going to find?

TBC...

**Up date: I thought I was finished with this story, but when I was spell checking (the best I can) Beckett's voice told be I needed to add more and well that's when Castle ran off with the story.( ha ha.) So I ended up writing well let's just say a whole lot more chapters. more coming soon. Also should, I have shown the kidnapping? I've never written this kind of thing (a kidnapping) before. Tell me what you guys think so far.**

**new chapters added. Thanks to mr. Castle's appearance in my dream, (kissing Beckett of course) last night I was able to connect ch 16 and 17 which are now typed ready for spell check.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning please read: I've only seen a few shows with Alexis, in them so her character might be a little off. anyway enjoy this chapter. As always, I don't own any characters from Castle.**

******Please read chapter by chapter**

**Holding my heart  
****Chapter 3:**

The only thing Alexis, knew was that she had a headache, a really bad one, and that it was dark. Well, that's what she thought, she really didn't know. There was no light pouring in the room, she assumed that there was no windows wherever she was.

_Why am I sitting in a chair_. She tried to get up, that's when she noticed that her hands were tied behind her back.

She tried to move her legs but they too were, what she thought duckttaped. Then she thought of the time that her father had her tie him down so that he could get out of it himself for one of his books. a tear slid down her face. What was her dad thinking right now, _does he know that I was...was what ...kidnapped._ She still couldn't believe it herself. _How does one get kidnapped from their own home. That's sounds like something that my dad would say_. _I guess we're not all that different after all. That made her heart-break. Her dad would never know._

She sniffed she was more worried about her dad at this moment than her. What's he doing? Is Beckett there with him, helping him. She never like all the women in her father's life after her mother left but Beckett was different somehow. She was starting to like having her around and the most important thing, she made her father smile. He was more alive than he had been. Beckett was good him.

_So if she's with him, that means they are looking for me, but will they find me before...  
__don't say that Alexis, _her mind told her. _They will find you, and take you home.  
__I have to get out of here. but how,  
__think like me,_ her father's voice said.  
_yes, kiddo that's what you do._ Her grandmother's voice interrupted.  
_Oh no gramps, she might think that this is all her fault._

"Gramps, dad this in not your fault." she yelled out, like anyone was going to hear her.

_What would my dad do, um..._She tried rocking the chair from side to side, it started to move then got stuck, she thinks. She struggled and struggled with it. _This is not working to well, um...I'll give it one more shot._

_Thata girl,_ her dad's voice rang out. _remember you aren't a quitter_. _You can do this._

She gave it all she had and it started moving but not the right way. The chair sway, _oh no._ Alexis braced herself and turned to the side, so if it did fall she wouldn't land on her face. That paid off, as the chair tipped to far and tumbling it went. Alexis hit her shoulder into the dirt. Dust flew up, she had to spit.

_Great now what?_ She thought.  
_Remember what I do..._her father's voice told her.  
_He would look around for common things he could use to get out of these restrains. But what can I use in here. It's to dark to see anything._

On one wall she saw chains hanging down and on the other some wierd looking contrapments.

_L____ooks_ like something out of a horror movie,  
_Don't go there,_ her mind said  
_How can I not, I wonder..._ That's when she heard footsteps, loud footsteps.

_That's not good. unless...Alexis _swallowed, was this her father or Beckett or did the kidnapper come back to ... _Don't think Alexis sometimes it's not good for you. Alexis could hold watch only the shoes of who ever it was come closer, closer._

_TBC..._


	4. Chapter 4

**once again I don't own 'Castle or its characters'**

******Please read chapter by chapter**

**holding my heart  
****Chapter 4**

ESposito walked into the precinct. He found Ryan going through videos of surveillance, through the window to the conference room Ryan was pacing the room. "yo frustrated bro," Esposito called as he enter the room carrying his notepad.

"Yes," there was a little anger in his voice. "There is nothing out of the ordinary on these tapes. Just people going in and out. Any of them could be a person of interest. I mean come on." Ryan threw up his hands. "I even saw Beckett a few times. Looks like she was bring Castle dinner." Ryan smiled. He was secretly hoping that some day the two of them would get together but...that might not happen anytime soon.

"Well, I might have something."

"Oh, do tell." Ryan went over a pushed pause on the tape machine, I'm sick of watching these." he faced Esposito now showing concern on his face, "How do you think Castle's holding up?"

"I don't know, he had a total break down." Esposito shook his head. "I would too though, I mean...anyway the doorman remembers that about he thinks anyway about two weeks ago. He saw some kids sitting on the porch across the street playing with..."

"Matches,"

Esposito laughed, "No with some binoculars."

"You mean they were spying? on their neighbors?"

"He doesn't really know but it's worth checking out." Ryan gets his coat and they both leave to talk to the people in the building across from Castle.

Castle looking around paced the floor, paced the floor of his daughter's room trying to imagine what his daughter went through. What she might be going through right now, where ever she was. All kinds of situations went though his mind, none of them good, nothing that would help them right now. He sighed,

"What was so important she had to come back up here for?" he asked without looking to see whose footsteps he heard on the stairs, he know those high heels anywhere. he wondered how she was able to walk in them. Even though his heart was breaking over his daughter he knew having Beckett around would help him...focus, he sighed again.

Beckett stood behind him. He could almost feel her...He inhaled her scent, the scent of strawberries. He swallowed he just wanted this moment to last. That in its self was his comfort. Focus Castle, he reminded himself. Your daughter needs you. He walked around the room again, looking for anything that might help them find his daughter. What did she see. What did she feel. _Terror that's what, who wouldn't._ He sighed heavily as he sat on the edge of her bed. Tears started down his face again.

Beckett hesitated this time, for being alone with him, with a bed of all things, she didn't know what he or, she for that matter, might do.  
She sat next to him. She put her arm around him. She was shocked when he laid his head down in her lap, he turned into the little boy again, one that needed comforting. "Castle, I..." She was going to say she was sorry but something stopped her. This time she wiped her hands down his face, trying to take his tears away. She started rubbing his face, his hair, so soft she thought. She could feel him falling asleep. Maybe that's what he needs to rest. "Castle..." she whispered. He stirred, then his eyes rose to look at her.

She just stares into his eyes, those eyes. Those mesmerizing eyes. He sat up, looking to her anyway, a little refreshed. His hand reached out and touched her neck, sending a tingle down her spine. He leaned forward, they were so close to kissing each other. Her mind told her that this was not the right moment for this, not here, not in his daughter's room. "I..." Castle started then stopped.  
Beckett blinked, tearing her eyes from him. "We need to focus." She said and got up. Castle just hung his head, _she's right, I know she is but..._He slid his hand down his face. Just then her phone rang.

"Beckett," she answered. Then there was the look. The look that Castle knew to well, one that told him that someone, whoever it was on the line knew something. He swallowed, did he want to know what that "something" was. He braced himself, well the best that he could anyway. what did it matter she had already seen him cry. Cry like a baby, cause my, Castle closed his eyes, my baby...my only baby.

"Castle," Beckett waved her hands in front of him. "We need to go." With that all kinds of thoughts went though his head, _what if...what if they found...don't say that, don't you dare._

"Esposito and Ryan think that they might have some info. Now come on," She took him by the arm and litterly dragged him up. "But..." He protested.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: please read: another Alexis, story part. I wish that I could up the ratings here, but I think that most people have heard this before. anyway you might have to fill in the blanks at times. This story was supposed to be a family rated story but it kind of got out of hand when writing these parts so. Just be aware. Once again I don't own any of "Castle's characters' Hope you enjoy.**

******Please read chapter by chapter**

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 5**

Alexis saw only the feet of the person in front of her. She swallowed._ Is this how it ends with me being tied to a chair_  
_on the floor, of some old chamber. Is this how my dad finds me? Will he even find me or do I starve to death and they find_  
_my skeleton. Maybe if i plea...then what he kills you faster cause you won't shut up. What do i do dad?_

_This might be my one last shot, Dad I love you, I know that you can hear me, we always could read each others thoughts._

"Comfortable," came a voice, the voice of the man who kidnapped her. This is it she thought. Her last moments.

"I...it's not what it looks like." Alexis plead.

"I know, you tripped right?." Two Hands reached down. Alexis closed her eyes. She was place streight up again. _This is really going to be it for me._  
_I can feel..._

"If you're gonna kill me do it now." She sighed. "and place my body were you found me..."

"You don't want you dad to see you..." She could hear him shuffle his feet in the dirt."Tied to a chair. um..." S_o he is going to kill me. _Her heart began to beat faster. But she was able to stay calm about this.

"Yes, I..."

"Don't worry daddy's not going to see your body at all." _what does that mean, he's gonna torch me or torture and then cut me in small pieces._

"I know who you are, you are Richard Castle's little girl. Alexis, right?" H_ow did he? _"I've been watching you for awhile." He took a deep breath.  
_watching like a spy would. Alexis, thought. but when, where, everywhere. Now that's a creepy thought._

"He'll give you anything you want..." She said hoping that this would allow him time to think about that instead of her.

"Anything?" _was that a mistake saying that?_ she thought for a second then, she swallowed. _please no, not that..._

"Anything, just name it, we...you can even call him."  
when he didn't answer. "Ransom anything."

"um...anything I want..." He knew what he wanted, but he would never get it, not like this, not here.

"Yes, just..."

"Just what? untie you..." I_s this working or making things worse I can't tell._

"Um...let me think." The only thing that Alexis could see that this was a smaller man, teenager maybe. That's not at all a bad thing, she hoped. Maybe all he wanted was some money for drugs, that's why most people kidnap for money right? But what if...The only thing that she could see was that he had green eyes behind the mask he wore. That wasn't going to be very helpful is she had to identify him. but who wears a mask inside a place. _someone who doesn't want to be seen. so if he keeps it on, he thinks that I can't see him. I might be able to stay alive. I can't id him so he might..._she wouldn't show him fear. I have to be strong. sweat was gathering in her pores, she would have to send along day with...gramps, I'm never gonna...she could feel the tears starting. _I have to hold them back. I can't let them fall._ Her fear level was rising the longer that he kept quiet  
_I have to think of something...um..._

"So what's your name?" She asked him, knowing that he might tell her a fake name but maybe he would slip up. She had to try something.

"You can call me 'buddy'. " _crape a common name._

"Well then Buddy, I know that you don't want to hurt me, you just want money or stuff. I can afford it all."  
Well, not really but he didn't need to know that.

"So you think your dad, he'll do anything to get you back."

"Yes," She knew that he would do anything to protect his daughter, anything and that's what scared her a lot. what would he do, she couldn't have him go to jail because of her.

"Then where is daddy dearest?" That was a good question one that she was wondering as well.

"As soon as daddy dearest shows up, you can leave."

"Just like that?" She question, not really believing this man. She had seen to many movies that didn't end to well.

"Just like that." She could hear more shuffling of his feet. A hand touched her face. _Be strong Alexis_ she told herself. _Be strong. This guy smells. He hasn't had a bath in a few days, I can always tell the cops that. _

"But for now..." H_ere it comes, he's gonna..._she didn't want to think about that..._that's not how..._

a bandanna was placed over her eyes. "Sleep tight." He whisper in her ear. All Alexis could hear after that was the man's shoes walking away.

"Wait come back." was she crazy? She didn't want him to come back...she just wanted out of there. She wanted to see her dad  
and gramps again. She just let it all out. Tears filled her eyes and never stopped. Dad...where are you...

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

******Once again I don't own any of "Castle's characters' Hope you enjoy ch 6.**

**********Please read chapter by chapter**

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 6**

It took sometime to get Castle down the steps and out the door. There was no sign of Martha, well not the Beckett could see anyway. "Come on Castle work with me."

"But, I'm sleepy. Can we do this later." That's when she noticed that he was starting to shut down even more. _I can do this_. She leaned him against her car while she opened it.

"Get in Castle,"

"Yes, mommy." T_his is going to get very interesting. _she thought, shaking her head.

"Castle?" He mumbled something she couldn't understand at all. She literally had to push him over so he fit in the seat so she could shut the door. She thought that he was reaching back out to her but he lowered his chair. "Good night Beckett." He said now with a little more seriousness in his voice.

_He needs all the rest he can get, but..._

She shuts the door and he shifts, curling up more. She races to the other side of the car and climbs in. "Oh, Castle what are we going to find at the precinct. I can only imagine, it's not going to be anything good."

At the first red light, she sneaks a peek over at him, she notices that he is still asleep. He looks so peaceful sleeping like that. A smile crept across her face, but it didn't last. His peace will not last not when...She blinks.

She had to slam on her breaks. _Damn taxi drivers. _"Cas..." Castle just turned over, now facing her. _Sleep my little Castle_,. She had to pull her hand back from touching his wavy soft hair again. _Did my mind just say that?_ she shook her head. W_hat is happening to me?_

_you're falling in love, her mind said to her._

_but with him?_

_You don't get to choise your heart does. Y__ou know how your heart feels but he doesn't._

oh shut up, she literally screamed at herself. _why am I fighting with myself. _she sighed. _my mind's right though. I know how I feel but things might change..._She hoped not. They entered the parking lot of the precinct. The officer waved them on.

_Our lives are going to be changed forever._

She swallowed. She parked right next to Montgomery car. Now to wake him up. She slid her hand down her face. _You have too, Kate. Do it generally, _she reminded herself.

"Castle," She whispered softly, as she touched him on the arm. She thought that would be the safest place, for her anyway to touch him. "Castle," she whispered a little more loudly.

"Just a little longer. Please." How could she refuse that, plea. She stepped out of the car and called Espositto. When she told him how Castle was acting, he just laughed.

"It's not funny, I need help." She said her voice rising in the phone.

"You are on your girl." was his only response.

"Beckett," She turned to see Castle open his door. "Who was that on the phone?"

"Oh, uh..." she pushed some hair out of her face. A pause when she had to think of her next response. "Esposito. We have some info."

"What? You got to tell me." _What is with these mood swings? He's trying to act brave Kate, he doesn't want you to see him falling apart inside. He doesn't have much hope left for his little girl coming home safe. Oh,_

Castle walks into the precinct like it was any ordinary day.

"What do you got boys," Ryan couldn't believe that his attitude changed, just like that. Beckett shrugged his guess was as good as any.

"We ran down some leads from the security feeds that we collected." On the big screen in the conference room was Beckett going into Castle's loft.

"Very funny guys," she yelled their direction.

"What the?" Esposito shook his head. "Nice one bro,"

"I didn't leave that one on there." Ryan shot back.

"I did." Everyone turned to see Montgomery.

"But sir I..." Beckett was defending her choices about going to see him.

"you brought him dinner, so what."

"I um...oh right."

"We ran some kids with binoculars, which the only thing that we know is that we can't find them. But it did lead to a sex offender,

Ryan changed out the tapes. "This man." Castle recognized the man, a real piece of work. Castle had interview him for a possible book but he shelved the idea through.

"We are going to pick him up right now." Ryan continued. Everyone looked at well, where Castle was suppose to be standing .

"Where's Castle?" Ryan asked.

"Oh, no." Esposito commented. shaking his head. _He wouldn't, not without...but we are talking about his daughter_.

"He's..." the captain started but was cut off.

"He's got a head start, go go." Beckett hollered.

"He's got fast car too." Ryan added.

"Do you think that he would do anything stupid?" if sounded like that question was directed too Beckett of all people.

"I don't know, right now anythig posible. Sir."

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning please read:**

**New chapter. Hope you enjoy this twist in the story, some of you might not like it. But I thought it added to the story 'heart strings'. A****lso I don't own any of the characters from Castle, I hate to have to write that every time, but someone told me that it was 'the right thing to do' come on I think everyone already knows that. **

**Please drop me a line if you like my story. I love reading feedback. Anyway here's ch 7.**

******Please read chapter by chapter**

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 7**

when Beckett and her team get to the address that they have for the sex offender, Beckett noticed that the door has been kicked in not a good sign. _Did Castle do that? Well that's a stupid question to be asking, of course he did, if he thought that this guy had anything to do with his daughter going missing. what if...no Beckett don't even think that, there's no way..._ god she hoped not.

She holds back her team and draws her weapon. Esposito and Ryan take one side of the door and her and Montgomery take the other.

"On three," She holds up one finger then two then three.

"Police." she shouts as she enters the door Ryan and Esposito go one way and she goes the other.

"Clear, clear." She hears them call. In the last room that Beckett enters she sees Castle choking a man, slamming him into a mirror.  
"Castle, step away... Now," She shouts.

"No Beckett, this is between him and me ." It wasn't like Castle to threaten someone.

"Castle, I'm warning you, I don't want to have to shoot but I will."

"Mom wouldn't shoot dad would she?" Ryan said to Esposito.

"I don't think, so bro." But Esposito wasn't sure what she would do now. Beckett didn't have much time to think before Castle took the man's life. So she did the only thing that she could think of, she fired a warning shot at wall not to far from him.

"I mean it next time..." Castle let go of the man quick. He had never been shot at by Beckett before. _Remember he's a different Castle_...a _hurting ...maybe even grieving Castle._

Castle punches the man in the face. Blood drips from his fingers, he rubs his hand, squinting his face. uhhh...That hurt.

"Hands behind your back." She yelled in her cop tone.

"Is this for real?" Castle couldn't imagine, that is was.

"You broke the law Castle a few actually. breaking and entering for one...I could go on."

"But he kidnapped my daughter,"

"No I didn't!" shouted the man, who was now on the floor.

"You're a sex offender,"

"That maybe true but I don't little girls." _too much info_ Castle thought then..._wait if he...then he didn't kidnap Alexis. _

"Take him out of here." Ryan handcuffs the other man.

"But I didn't do anything. He did."

Beckett faces Castle. "You could have been killed, let us do our job, the right way."

"But my baby.."

"Do you trust me?" _What kind of question is that? She knows that I trust her, but trust goes both ways. I always have had her back and now this, how...I thought we were partners, partners are suppose to trust one another. I just don't know...anymore._

" I...I do but..." She hated to do this but it was for his own good. Y_ou're doing the right thing, but why does it hurt so bad. You always hurt the ones you love. came to her mind.  
not funny._

"Put your hands behind you back." She said to everyone's, especially Castle's, shock. He couldn't believe what she just said to him. Had he heard her right?

"What?"

"Now, Castle." she yelled as she grabbed his arm. He starts to struggle, not a good thing with Beckett.

"Are you kidding me?"

"She never kidds, you better do what she tells you bro, now." Esposito said, but that came to late. Beckett didn't waste any time, she dropped Castle to the ground stepping her high heel in his back and grabbing both of his arms ow...Esposito cringed. "See I told you bro. I wouldn't struggle any more."

She placed her handcuffs on him, "Beckett is this some kind of foreplay," he whispered.

"No Castle you're under arrest for..." She couldn't finish her sentence she was so furious with him.  
_Even if he was hurting he broke the law and  
__and what Beckett punishing one of your own, you know Castle  
__Do I?_  
_yes, he..._she knew that to be true but...what was she suppose to do with him_ he's going to hurt someone or himself I can't have that._

"Get up now." He looked up at her.

"I...I can't," _now I know what a bad guy feels like, I don't like it._

"Sorry," _at least she apologized for that. Beckett _stepped off him.

"You have the right to remain..."

"Yeah yeah I know." He interrupted her. She couldn't tell if he was taking this seriously or not so she read him the rest of his rights to him.  
_what have I done now, she's not kidding but...I thought she was on my side._

Esposito lefts him up like he does any other arrestees.  
"Take him to the car and tell him to shut up."

"Beckett, really." Castle started in his whiny voice. Esposito leads him out the door, Castle turned to face her. No words were needed, she could tell that he was sorry, still she had to do her job, at whatever the cost.

"Come on Castle, the both of you need to cool off." Castle sighed. _Esposito's right I do...but why would Beckett do..._  
_maybe it's all for show. It sure got my attention. Note to self never make an armed woman mad. Especially her, Beckett woman of mystery. The woman who holds my heart...well not quite yet._

Beckett sighed. _Oh Castle what did you do? Do you know how much trouble your in. Why now, why can't you just trust me to do my job._  
_He's confused Beckett give him a break. _  
_I have plenty of times, and he keeps screwing up, what am I going to do with him? _  
_love him the way he is._

Beckett walked around the house and then saw. _oh no not a dead body, Castle you didn't. No wait Castle didn't have a gun on him._  
"I still have to make sure." she said out loud to herself.  
She called Esposito and had him run a gun-shot-residue test on Castle.

"What's this do again?" Castle asked as Esposito rubbed the swab over his hand. "Hey, that tickles."

"Answer me truthfully bro, did you fire a gun?"

"That's a joke right?" _This couldn't be happening to me._

"No it's not, Beckett found a body. A shot body."

"I didn't do it," Castle defended himself. "The only thing that I did was..."

"Right."

He's clean. He told Beckett through the phone, he could hear her sigh with relieve.

Beckett got in Esposito's car and on the way called in that they had a shooting. She didn't tell them her name. She didn't want to have to explain why Castle was there and them see him in handcuffs.

Ryan called Esposito and told them to drive around some cause they were still booking the sex offended. Ryan didn't want Castle walking in on that, too many question they would have to answer. When the coast was clear he let them in.

"ow." Castle complained, "Now can you take these off me?" He tried to glance at Beckett who was behind him. "I've learned my lesson." He begged. Beckett just ignored him.

"This way." Castle swallowed they were heading down to the holding cells, "I'll take it from here, Esposito." He just nodded. "Good luck Castle."

Beckett gripped his arm. He winced. Big Baby she thought to herself. T_hat is what he is, just a ...big brat._

"Oh no, your not going to put me in there?" She didn't respond, she didn't really know what to say to him. She didn't even look his direction. "Okay, okay," he plead again. "Really I learned my lesson. Don't put me in there." he begged her. She had a guard unlock the door,  
"Wait, please, Beckett." She un-cuffed him finally and gently pushed him in. "Why are you doing this to me? I should be out..." She stepped back so the guard could shut the door. It slammed behind Castle.

He turned and placed his hands on the bars that separated them. She saw that he had some dry blood on his knuckles from where he hit the guy in the face as one last attempt to get info on his missing daughter.

"How can you do this to me?" He shot at her a glare one full of hurt, then it turned to anger. "I'll do anything for my daughter."

"I um..." She finally looked at him. Staring...both saw in each other's eyes the pain of this, She blinked first, "I know, you would do anything for her, you already did," she whispered the last part to Castle.

_She is right._ He thought. He turned hanging his head. He really was sorry for what he did, he just lost it and now his daughter might have to pay for it. The tears were about to come but he held them back, fighting. He couldn't look at her anymore. Not the woman who was breaking his heart.

_I'd do anything good or bad, what if she wasn't there when she was. Would i've killed him, and then what...my daughter might lose her dad cause I..._

He looked around the cage,_ this could be my life forever._

"I know but I'm sorry," he tried to turn on the charm, but the look that Beckett was giving him. It wasn't doing in any good. He knew that this was useless fighting with her while his daughter was out there possibly fighting for her life.

He blinked, she was still there. _she's not going to let me out of here, what good am I doing._ He was still mad, more at himself then at her but it still hurt that she didn't trust him not to do something else stupid. He was losing this battle. Both battles the one with her and the other with himself. So he lashed out again.  
"Just go," Castle shouted at her. He didn't turn back towards her.

"Castle, I..." her heart was breaking but she couldn't have both of them out there. It wasn't so much about breaking the law, as it was keeping him safe. But was she doing the right thing? How would she feel if the roles were reversed? She was losing time so she turned and walked away.  
He glanced over his shoulder to see her but she was gone.

"Damn you Beckett come back." he yelled. "Beckett get me out here." He waited a second and when she didn't come back for him, he started pacing back and forth.

How could she do this to me? to us? He gave up pacing and sat on the padded bench with his head down cupped in his hands. What have I done?

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning, please read: **  
**Back to Alexis. when I started this, Alexis was to be older but (a friend told me) my timeline didn't fit with the show, so she's now a mid-teenager. Oh well, anyway. Enjoy this part and more to come with her. Once again, I don't own any of the characters from Castle. another note, please read chapter by chapter. so you can't skip around or you will lose the point of the story. This was suppose to be a short fic but in my dream, one that really scared the (fill in the blank) out of me-Beckett help me finish it, I was talking to her taking notes and when I woke, I had written 12 pages in my notebook, I guess I was sleep writing (is that even possible). That was a frist for me. ****Anyway on to ch 8.**

**Holding my heart **

**Chapter 8**

Alexis kept thinking that at any moment someone was going to be busting thought the door... wherever that was.  
_It's been awhile, did they forget about me? something's happened, she feared for my dad wouldn't leave me?_  
_No he wouldn't kiddo, trust in that._  
_Then where is he? _  
_He's out looking...there's_

Alexis could hear something scratching at the walls.

"Who's there?" she whipped her head around towards the sound fearing that it might be someone,

_The kidnappers are back,_ she swallowed her panic level rose. She struggled with her chair again, _should I try to knock this over again. I can't just stay here. __I have to do something._ She took a deep breath to try to relax herself, but that didn't help her mind wondering off...she was just like her father had a wild imagination, _what is going to happen if they don't find me in time? _  
_time! if I could only reach,_ she grunted. _sorry dad..._

She tried swaying her hands so they would bang against the side of the chair and break her watch. She tried a few times then she heard the crack. Success! She scratched at her watch with her fingernail. She could feel the edge of the broken top.  
_Come on break_, _I can feel you, a little bit more_.

She could feel it peeling back. _Just a little farther_, then she felt if cut deep into her skin. She winced in pain, then she smiled as she realized that the piece had landed in her hand and not on the floor. _I did it. Now just get it up high enough._  
_come on_...She shouted to herself.

a rip. _It worked, no way._  
She was able to her hands free, then her legs. _Look at me now dad._  
_He would be proud._  
_would be? Why would my mind say it like that? Dad's just fine...he's gotta be._

She lifted the blind fold off. It took a few seconds for eyes to adjust. It seemed darker to her. She tried to take a step forward but her legs didn't want to work. A crack behind her made her jump. "Ah..." _Relax_ her mind said, as she stumbled backwards into the chained wall. The chains rattled. _If I plan to get out of her I have to be quiet. Now where to look for a secret exit._ _I've got to find it before...I get caught._

A mouse trap snaps just in front of her, she jumped back so it wont get her and something crunches under her shoe. _What the?_ She turns and almost scream bloody murder. She sees a skeleton, still chained to the wall. She blinks, _that could be me if I don't get out of here before the kidnapper comes back.  
_  
_What torture did they go through...Who's family member is that? That's somebody's kid._  
_That's not going to be you...S_he thinks that she saw something moving, so she gets closer to the body and sure enough it did, the jaw moved as a fat rat came crawling through the opening. "Ah..." the fat rat scurries off. breathing heavy now, Alexis steps back bumping into something hard. She thinks that it's another wall and starts to feel upwards, cloth. Ahh... She turns terror fills her eyes and two arms grab her.

"Let go of me." She kicks.

"You're Alexis...Alexis Castle?" He loosens his grip on her.

"How?" She backs away from him thinking that he was the kidnapper.

"Never mind I'll tell you later. Now we must...too late, sit back in that chair. The kidnapper, he's coming back."  
Alexis not knowing what else to do does what this older guy says. Did he know what he was talking about? She wasn't sure but what else was she going to do. If the younger man saw that she was up to...then _what would he do to me. I'd be dead for sure._

When she looked around she couldn't find the mystery man. The young man known only as 'Buddy' to Alexis came in.

"Just checking on you Alexis...I wouldn't want anything to happen to you." Buddy came to face her."Here, I brought you some water." he held out a cup of water with a straw in it. He lifted the blind fold some, Alexis swallowed "see." She saw the glass but thought it might have been doused with some kind of drug, so she hesitated. Seeing this, Buddy got to thinking. S_he doesn't trust me_.

"What's wrong not thirsty," _Hell, yes I'm but should I...  
__Don't do it, have him drink it first that's the only way that you will know_.

"Oh, I get it, you don't trust me."

"I wouldn't hurt little old you. I...I'll even prove it to you. I will drink some first just to saw you." Buddy takes the glass and pours some in his mouth, spilling it on him. "See nothing." Alexis decided that if he didn't have any sided effects then it was alright for her to take a sip. She slurps some from the straw, it was cool and calm, just what she needed.

"You have to keep up your strength for later."

"Later."

"ta ta for now." The smelly man skips out of the room leaving her alone. Standing in the shadows, hearing all that was going on, Teddy thought that the guy was strange. _If he didn't want to hurt Alexis, then what was his motive for keeping her_ ?  
_Don't answer that bro._  
_What any man wants...I have to get her out of here before he gets back but how there are so many places that he could hide._ That made him think about his younger brother and how they use to play hide-n-seek in a building just like this and it could be days before they would find each other.  
He came out of the shadows.

"Let's start over." Teddy said as he approached Alexis.

"Alexis..."

"I know...my name's Teddy."

"like a teddy bear?" she question,

"Exactly, actually I think that's why I was called that. I used to have one. until it fell apart."

"Oh how cute."

"My bear's name was pookie, so I'm glade my name's not that!" he laughed.

"Not again, here he comes, coming back...the footsteps...they sound like they are running though." _Why now why come back._

Alexis sat back down just in case. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. She just wanted to go home.  
After a few minutes of silence, Teddy thought that the treat was over but he had to make sure.  
"We have to get out of here but first I have something to do."

"Wait, where are you going? You can't just say that you are going to help me and then leave."

"I'll be back, don't worry."

"What if he comes back for me..." but Teddy was already gone and once again Alexis was left alone.

TBC...


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning, please read:**  
**She's back, Alexis that is...another chapter of her. I hope that people like my story so far. This story is longer then I thought it was going to be, but I have to add in some twist and turns or it wouldn't be a 'Castle story'. Anyway here's ch 9 and remember I don't own any of the characters from Castle,**  
**new charters are coming though and ****Please read chapter by chapter or you will miss the whole point of the story.**

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 9**

"Alexis...Alexis." Teddy calls out in panic. "I'm to late, they..." Teddy ran his hand through his brown short hair. "Who ever he was came back to get her. It's all my fault." He scans the whole room. Hoping against all hope that he was wrong. That's when he saw her. Cuddle, shaking in the corner with her head down. He breathed a sigh of relieve but when he saw her shaking...

"Alexis," he shouts running towards her. She lefts her head.

"You!"

"I told you that I was coming back...I just...What are you doing over here?" now some of his panic was leaving him as he tried to calm down.

"I'm..." It was hard for her to tell someone that she just meet that how she was feeling.

"Terrified, I bet." All she could do was nod but she was still couldn't stop shaking. "Well, let's change that."

"Uh," What did that guy do to her that would..._oh no._ He noticed her clinching her fingers together in a ball.

"Can I see?"

"I cut..." She slowly opened her hand.

"So you..." He could see the bloody cut.

"I did, I..."

"You did this?"

"I did getting free,"

"So..."

"They haven't been back." _What a relieve that is...now to help get her out of here._

"May I?" She once again nodded. He slowly un-curled her bloody finger. "It looks deep."  
Teddy stood up, dug into his pocket, cursing under his breath but Alexis heard it. "Wrong pocket." He tried to smile. He dug in the other one till he found what he was looking for. "Here, this is all I have." He wrapped her cut finger in a handkerchief. She couldn't tell if if was clean or not but it was better then nothing.

"Thanks." She mumbled. W_hy is he? Something looked familiar about him_.  
_He can't be the same guy. He just can't be. Something's not right here? _  
_Go with you gut kiddo, if it's tell you to run then run. _  
_I don't know. _  
_trust in yourself._  
_It's telling me to trust him, but what if...but what if I don't._

"We are going to get you out of here. Can you stand?"

"I..." He waited for a minute. Then he thought he had no other choice. He bent down and picked her up. She didn't complain, she just placed her arms around his neck.

"There you go. Come with me,"

"Why are you doing this?" She thought she ask even though he might lie to her.

"To tell you the truth, I..." He couldn't tell her that he watched her, for years at that, then she might think that he had something to do with this. on the other hand, he didn't want to lie to the one person he admired.

_Here it comes,_ Alexis thought, _There's the pause, he is going to lie about everything just to save himself...save himself from what? Is he the...  
__What does your gut say to you?_  
_to give him a chance..._  
_then that's what you do._

"If I tell you, you promise not to run?" _Duh, you're holding her. _  
_right. She knows what I mean._

"Why would I? Are you the kidnapper?"

"No, not that but..." he sighed as they made their way down the hall. "I...just..." _Come on you can tell her, she needs to know who you are, if she's going to trust you. _  
_You're right I do need to tell her._ He placed her down when they entered a room on the first floor. He took a deep breath more to gain the courage to tell her everything about him and his brother. "I've been watching you."

"As in spying?" Alexis sat on a bed that was in the room, _where are we now? we are no closer to getting out of here..._

"Yes, I..." She wanted to know all about that. _Why would he be spying and from where?_

"Don't freak out when I tell you..." Teddy took a deep breath. "I have been for years..."

"What?" Alexis had to process that information some. "Why?" she asked after she recovered from the shock.

"Look," Teddy turn his back towards her. "I didn't have much growing up..."

"As in money."

"No, well some but I mean...in the way of love...family..." He was about to tell her the rest of the story when footsteps came banging down the hallway. "We got to go, I'll tell you the whole story later but now, we have to run. The kidnapper or napers are figuring out that you are gone, they are either looking for you or they are panicking which is not a good thing either way. Let's go."

"But we're trapped. Where do we go? " the only way the Alexis saw was a barred up window.

"no the secret..." Teddy shouted.

"What?"

"Look for the crease in the wall." _A secret passageway, oh my dad would love this kind of thing, secret passages, secret rooms...everything._

"I found it," she called out. "The picture it moves."

"Go in," ordered Teddy as he watched at the door.

" It's..." not that she was afraid of the dark it was just...spooky.

"Here take this." Teddy threw her the flashlight from his pocket.

"Is there anything in there that you don't have?"

"I have to be prepared for anything. Now go!"

Alexis opens the panel on the wall behind the picture of some ugly man on a what is that she wondered a horse looks more like a two-year drawing of a dino with leashes around it's neck. She steps in and swallows, "cobwebs... I hate."

"Just go, I hate them too but right now." Both made it into the painting just before the door to the room they were in opens.  
"whoosh that was closer then I wanted it to be. Alexis?"

TBC...


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning, please read:**  
**another chapter of Alexis. I hope that people like my story so far. Anyway here's ch 10 and remember I don't own any of the characters from Castle,**  
**new charters are coming though. Please remember to read one chapter at a time.**

**Holding my heart**

**chapter 10**

"Right here," she had turned the corner on him that was a relieve.  
"Witch way?"

"We will go that way." They continued to walk inside the walls until they came to the an end.

"Where now?"

"We have to go back out in the main part of the building."

"You know this...how?"

"Me and my brother...younger brother use to hide in buildings like this one."

"Oh," They found the opening in the wall and Teddy slowly went out.

"Shhh..." Teddy glanced around, the room. It was the main entry way livingroom. "No one's here, let's go."

Alexis stepped out, thinking that they were almost going to be free. Just a few more steps...Hold on dad I'm coming for you. Her gut feeling told her that her dad hadn't Forgot about her, but that he needed help.

"We have to be carefull, these old buildings...one wrong move...and..." Alexis didn't need to hear that. She was already unnerved as it was. Teddy  
stood there beside her. Just his presence calmed her, now she thought that she could get through his ordeal and get back with her dad.

"Hopefully not much longer and we will be out of here." _and nothing will go wrong. who ever this man is, he is a danger to Alexis now. and that doesn't set good with me. She does seem calmer now though. I think she will make it. His happiness didn't last, footsteps. Not again, how much more of this can we take. I didn't sign up for this, I didn't ever think...she's lucky that I did spy on her, but if we don't get out of her, nothing's gonna matter. _Teddy took her hand. Then she knew they were on the run again. He didn't have to say a word. Both took off running again. "I can't keep up." Alexis commented out of breath.

"Not, in those shoes you can't. Take them off." _Teddy's right I can't run in these, I don't know how B...Beckett and dad...he's called her by now. Why isn't anyone found me...us she smiled...yet_. Teddy had to yell back at her to come on.

"Bring Alexis, back to me." yelled the younger man. "That's..."

"I know,"

"What don't you know?" T_hat was an odd question at a time like this, oh well..._  
_She's just scared._ Teddy shook his head to clear his thoughts...thoughts of her. _I have to focus_. _Thoughts later..._

They race from room to room, trying to avoid the kidnapper_. How much of this can I take, T_eddy thought_. How much can she take. L_ooking back at Alexis_. We have to come up with another plan this one's not working. I don't want to be running all night long. _He stopped to catch his breath and Alexis almost ran smack into him. "Whoa," he had to catch her.

_"_I...I didn't see you stop."

"We can't keep doing this..." he could see her blush some. he smiled, "No I mean this running, I can't take it and I know that you can't either." she too was out of breath. um...I have to think and quick. They hid, a closet this time. Not a good idea, with what Teddy was thinking,_ just one kiss...  
No don't go there it's not the right time.  
I don't know if there will be a right time. _

"Stay here. I mean it. I'll be right back. There's a kitchen, to the right."

"I'm coming with you."_ she remembers how she felt last time...abonded...not anymore. _Teddy didn't argue, he wasn't up for it. He slowly opened the door to look. He didn't hear anymore footsteps, but that didn't mean that the kidnapper wasn't there. Slowly...they reached the kitchen and opened the fridge.. rotten eggs, moldy fuzzy bacon, and something Alexis could tell what if used to be. Then she spotted the bottle water.

_Grab two and let's get out of here, we are sitting ducks...they hid back in the same closet and drank the simi-cold water. that should work for now._

"At least we had that." Alexis smiled, "I needed it."_ that kidnapper was right I did need my strength, was that his plan to make me run all night then...she sighed. Teddy glanced over at her. Don't think it...he's mind told him. _

_"_I'm going to get you...you little brats, get out of here, now!" that wasn't the same voice as before. _oh no don't tell me that we have two people casing us. this is not good, not good at all._

"No time to rest, here we go again." The rattle of the door made Alexis heart get stuck in her throat, now this really is the end for the both of us. She could feel it in her bones. "There's no way out."

Teddy point, "Only one way. up."

"up?"

Teddy started climbing the shelves. "Follow." When he got to the last shelve that he could stand on, he reached over his head and tried to push the door open. He couldn't get it. "It's stuck, I need help." He looked at Alexis.

"I'm right behind you." With the two of them, Alexis in flight mode they were able to get it open and get in there. "Not, an attic,"

"I don't think so...I don't think it has one."

A bloody body drops down in front of Alexis. and she screams.

_now what,_ I can't take any more suprises_. _Teddy sees the body_. _"Just keep going."He said to her but she couldn't take her eyes off the dead man in front of her... Teddy grabs her by the arm. "I know...you're thinking about your dad...but..."

"but...nothing...you don't know anything about me...

"but I do remember that I told you I watched you for years...and I know alot."

Alexis swallowed. She finally tore her eyes from the blank expression of the courps.

"Oh no, he knows we are up here. go go!" They keep running Alexis in front of Teddy, then the man with, what is that a gun? _this night just keeps getting better and better._ Alexis stops short,

"Why are you stopping?" Teddy ask. Then he saw the terror in her eyes. Not another body. He heard a ding behind him. "He's shoting at us. what is it? why did you stop?"

He stops and looks...she glance back at him and he saw that terror look again. "We have to jump." She stands still, frozen in place.

"What? What is it?"

"I'm..." She finally addmits.

"Afraid of heights."_ Great I didn't see that one coming, she has been on her game all night until. I don't blame her though, that's not my favoite thing either. _He looked down to see if they could make it..._there's a bed down there. a big bed, must be costum made. I think that we can but how to make her. _

"Hold my hand, we will jump together. It's either that or get shot. I think I'll take my chances with some broken bones." He winked but he didn't think that she saw it. He took her hand. "I'm here with you." He whipered close to her ear. "One three. one, two, three."

Both jump Alexis screaming the whole time. They landed just like Teddy thought. Right on the bed and almost bounced right back off. "Now how was that for some action." He tried to make a joke but the expression on her face told him everything.

"Sorry I just..." He helped her down off the bed. She stepped away from him, turning her back towards him, crying.  
"Alexis I'm sorry..."_ I could kick myself right now. He lowers his head. _"Look I wont say another word. I'm just..." He swallowed. "I'm scared," He had never been so scared in his life as he was right now, at this very moment. Forget the kidnapers, forget the gun. He was scared that him might have made things worse...worse for...her... "And when I get scared," He continued, "I try to joke, I'm sorry."

"Let's just get out of here, while no one is caseing us." She shot back._ She's mad at me, great now how am I to be her hero. If I can't get it right. I can't get anything right. _He wiped his hand down his face this time trying to wipe away his tears. He didn't want her to see him cry. Guys weren't suppose to cry. Alexis starts to walk off.

"Wait,"

"Well, catch up cause I'm out of here." That's the girl I want to see, one that 's determained. "Now where's an exit?"

"I have to think."

"You're the one that's suppose to know these kind of places." she smiled at him.

"I know,..." he was lost for words. "I had to think for a minute." He lie to her. He was thinking but not about the exit about her. They made it back the hallway. "First floor right?"

"I..." she looked confused, she just remembers falling a long way, she didn't know.

"Left I think." They ran right into the man with the gun. He grabbed Alexis by the arm. Teddy runs up and punches the man in the face. "Run." Teddy is right behind her, till he trips. "Ow," He looks up at Alexis. "Go, hide. I'll be right behind you."

"I'm not leaving you," she bent down next to him.

"Don't aruge, just go! I'll catch up with you," He saw the plea in her eyes. "I promise." He winked, she kissed him on the lips, "I can't."

"Remeber I came back for you." She nodded. "I'll be back again, go he's coming. Run and don't look back. I'll be fine. Trust me Alexis."

Alexis does what he says and runs...


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning please read:**

**These next few chapters contain some graphic things ( I don't want to spoil it) but I think I've seen more horrible things in the movies today, I just want you to be prepared. so if you want to blast me, cause you didn't like it please read the whole story then if you still feel that way then, then go for it. I like feed back, it makes me a better writer. Remember this show does have dead bodies, blood ect...so I wrote some in there, it adds to the drama. also I don't own any of the characters from Castle, I hate to have to write that every time, but someone told me that it was 'the right thing to do' come on I think everyone already know that. anyway here's ch 11.**

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 11**

"She's trying to protect you, you know. She's torn. She loves you. I can see it in her eyes."  
Castle looks up, "Who are you?"

"A guy who's stuck in here accused of a murder, I didn't commit."  
Castle sighed. _Beckett why am I here? What's going on?_

"You're a distraction,"

"What?"

"That female cop she's in love with you. If you're out there, she can't focus on what...a daughter's...your daughter."  
Castle lowered his head. That's all the man needed to see to know that is was in fact his daughter they were looking for "She see you pain, your helplessness. She wants to help you but doesn't know how."

"She can bring my daughter back...She can get me out of here."

"And it's tearing her up inside. She wants to focus but she can't. Having to run after you all the time. Her mother instincts are taking over. She is trying to protect both of you. She thinks if you are in here then she can..."

"Can what protect me from what?"_oh wait that was stupid. from myself._

"She can't protect your daughter but she can you right now."

"By throwing me in here?" Then he thought about the words... where she knows I'll be safe "but I need to help my daughter. I need to find my baby..."  
Angel nods.

"I can't help what you do but I'll you out of here. If that's what you want."  
Castle smiled. _This guy is willing to help me get out of here? is that what he is saying?_  
"one thing," _ut oh, here it comes, the but._ Angel came closer to Castle. Not knowing what this man might do Castle takes a step back. "What?"

"You hug your daughter and walk away from the scene. Hold her tight and your cop friend, who by the way holds you heart.  
Life's to short. Love them while you can." He patted Castle on the back. He went to the front of the "cage" and stood next to the door to make sure that no one was listening. He didn't think about the camera's down there. "Now when the guard comes by, keep him talking. I'll grab his keys."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'll help you. You help me," Angle winks. "No one believes my alibi, that I was in a church when Jon Jon's bar was robbed," Castle chuckled.

"A church? really?"

"Yes, I have proof go to the church and find my diary. I wrote in it."

"A dairy, in a church?"

"Yes,"

"I'll check it, I have found weirder things," _not to many_. _Is this guy for real, for getting me out of here he wants me to check an alibi_.  
Footsteps of the guard were coming.

"Ready to put this plan into motion, it's now or never."  
Castle nodded. hoping that he wasn't making another mistake. He had thoughts about this not working but...sure enough it did. The man was able to get the keys without the guard even knowing. When he left them alone again. Angel reached through the bars and click. The clicking of the bars this time was music to Castle's ears.

"You coming,"

"No not my thing." Castle just shrugged. He was free.

"See ya," And Castle turned the corner.  
The man laid back down on the patted bench. "Good luck son," Angel closed his eyes and took his last breath.

TBC...

**Warning...Warning...Warning...**  
**The next chapter, well let's just say read but remember this is a 'Castle story' forgiveness is needed.**  
**This stroy has content that is not...well Castle like in next two capters but keep reading-hint hint. (but I don't want to spoil it)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Warning...Warning...Warning...please read:**

**This chapter contain some graphic things ( I don't want to spoil it) but I think I've seen more horrible things in the movies today, I just want you to be prepared. so if you want to blast me, cause you didn't like it please read the whole story then if you still feel that way then, then go for it. I like feed back, it makes me a better writer. Remember this show does have dead bodies, blood ect...so I wrote some in there, it adds to the drama.  
****Also this chapter, well let's just say read but remember this is a 'Castle story' forgiveness is needed. ****This story has content that is not...well Castle like in next two chapters but keep reading-hint hint. (but I don't want to spoil that either). A****lso I don't own any of the characters from Castle. A****nyway on to ch 12. **

**holding my heart  
****chapter 12**

Castle slowly sneaks around the office area. People greet him. "Good to see you again." one even said. He nods like he always does.  
_They have no idea I was._..then he thought that maybe he could find out if Beckett was here. He walked to the front station. "Do you know if detective Beckett's here?"

"No I don't think so. But I just got back, she might be in the conference room that's where they were earlier. What are you going to do surprise her with flowers?"  
_uh...now why would I? _Castle had to think about that one, why would he want to not after she treated him today. Then he saw presents..._oh no_ he thought _not her..._Someone left another one. "Just pile it with the others. she'll see them when she leaves tonight." She turns back to face Castle. "She's so busy with this one case she...hasn't slowed down. I know that you can't tell me what it is about...but."

"It's a kidnapping," _my daughter's kidnapping _"And I didn't know..." he pointed to the pile of gifts.

"She hardly talks about her birthday, she just considers it another day on the calendar."

"Well, thanks for the info." hiding behind a door, Castle leans to look at the empty desk, not there good. He sees Beckett's white board that she always uses. A pic of Alexis was hanging on it. Her smiling face._ I can't read all that she wrote under it. Damn. I need to get a little closer._ He steps. Then someone comes around the corner. D_amn the only place for me to hide now is the..._he slid the door open, rushes into one of the stalls, the door opens behind him.

_Oh no, not... _He stands on the toilet._ I just hope it's not...don't breath_ he tells himself. Water runs, he leans just enough over the top of the stall door to see that it was Beckett. She was splashing water on her face, getting her hair wet..._oh,_ Castle shut his eyes and his imagination started going wild. His heart was racing, then her voice came Focus, Castle. Waking him out of his thought trance. "I swear I think I'm seeing things, can't be. Just my eyes playing tricks on me." _oh, no she's seen me_. She splashes more water on her face. "I need sleep but I have to find Alexis."

The door opens some. Castle looks up to see Ryan standing in the door way. "Beckett."

"Coming Ryan." _Ryan you can't just walk in here...Castle _thinks back to the time that he did and found Beckett reading his book. He smiled, great moment.

"I think that we caught a break." Ryan steps. "No one's in here right?"

"No just me." Ryan steps farther in. _And me..._Castle wanted to say.

"I hope that this pans out, this is the last lead that we have." Beckett said as Ryan grabs some paper towels for her. "Thanks," then they both walk out.

Castle hoping after hearing some foot traffic the coast is clear. He opens the door to leave but stops when he hears Beckett's voice again. She must be by the white board.  
_There's no way I can get by them. um...think Castle what would a spy do in my books,_ his eyes brows went up. _got it. the lockers._ he was about to go that way when her voice rang out "so close to where we were today." Beckett went on. "You go to the back, we'll go in the front. I'm in the basement." Montgomery was barking orders. "Let's go."

"Should we spring Castle frist?" Ryan asked, knowing what the answer might already be.

"No not yet." Beckett sighed. "I hate to say this...we...I can't risk him getting in the way. We have to take this slow if we don't...we don't want to go there...we can't go there."

"You're right, we have to play this smart, not that Castle's not smart its just...I just thought he needs to be part of the rescue but if you think it's better without him." _Better without him...no he needs to be there for her but...at what risk see what he did earlier...I just...I just don't know._ Beckett sighed again. Castle could hear her thinking it over. _She's thinking that I should be there but..._

"Let's go before it gets dark." Montgomery calls.  
Castle races to the locker room grabs a uniform in finds in a locker, changes and follows Ryan right out the door, unseen by Beckett and her team.  
_Now for a ride._ He snaps his fingers, _A rookie. No one will question that._ "Hey, rookie," he waves some money. "I'll give you this if you follow them."  
"I don't know, I'll add a hundred."

"Deal." When they arrive he tries to give the rookie the money but he refuses.  
"Go on, I know that that might be your daughter in there." The rookie smiles then speeds off. Castle pocketed the money and followed Ryan right into the building, that they think Alexis is in. Castle swallows, _what a dump._

Ryan thought he heard something so he turned around. Castle had to hide behind a statue quick. Castle slid his hand down his face, _that was close. I have to be more quiet or I'm going to get caught before this starts._

Castle follows behind Ryan, who at this moment feels spooked. _No there's nothing behind me. There can't be._ He turns around just to make sure and sees Castle. "Man you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Shhhh..."

"Wait a minute how did you?"

"Shhh...don't tell." Beckett recognized that voice any where. That's the voice that she tried to forget but it always haunted her since...since the death of her mother. _That's impossible, how did he?_

"Don't tell who?" Beckett asked.

"To late," Whispered Ryan "She already knows." Beckett turned around to face the voice that was always in her mind, one that she couldn't get rid of no matter how hard she tried sometimes. But right now she...despertly wanted to hear. When they left things she doubted that she ever would hear his voice again. "Beckett, I..."

"You've been caught again bro, I wouldn't want to be you, her escapee." Esposito said shaking his head at Castle.  
Castle swallowed, _maybe Esposito is right, cause that is what I'm an escapee. Her escapee._ _maybe he should have thought this trough a little more, coming here, following them. For there's nothing worse then a woman scorned. I'm not doing this for her, I'm doing this for my daughter. screw her...oh...how...focus Rick, think about the stuff when you have your computer running._

"I've got blood." Esposito points out. "And..."

"And what?" Beckett saw Castle's face quickly turn to fear.

"Lot's of it, from the looks of it." Ryan finishes what Esposito was going to say, scanning his flashlight around. " It's everywhere." Beckett wished Ryan hadn't had said that in case there just happen to be...not a body she hoped. She could hear Castle swallow hard. _It doesn't mean...no it doesn't_ his mind answered him back. _But what are the odds,_ Castle ran towards where Ryan and Esposito, almost running over Beckett. Castle looks down...shoes...he tried to remember if Alexis had shoes like that. He couldn't think, all he could think about was that that might be her body over there. Beckett stepped up behind him.

"Castle, I..." She slapped her hand over her mouth when she saw the shoes. smaller shoes. Something like what Alexis would ware.

TBC...

**Warning...Warning...Warning...please read:**

**remember this is a 'Castle story' forgiveness is needed. ****This story has content that is not...well Castle like in next two chapters but keep reading-hint hint. (but I don't want to spoil that either). **


	13. Chapter 13

**Warning...Warning...Warning...please read:**

**This chapter contain some graphic things ( I don't want to spoil it) but I think I've seen more horrible things in the movies today, I just want you to be prepared. so if you want to blast me, cause you didn't like it please read the whole story then if you still feel that way then, then go for it. I like feed back, it makes me a better writer. Remember this show does have dead bodies, blood ect...so I wrote some in there, it adds to the drama.  
****Also this chapter, well let's just say read but remember this is a 'Castle story' forgiveness is needed. ****This story has content that is not...well Castle like in next two chapters but keep reading-hint hint. (but I don't want to spoil that either). A****lso I don't own any of the characters from Castle. A****nyway on to ch 13. Please continue to read...**

**holding my heart  
****chapter 13**

Castle slowly walks in 'baby steps' towards the other side of a bed.

"Castle, let me go first,." _That way I could embrace him for what I think we might have found._ But Castle was already going.  
Beckett prayed that they weren't true. That that wasn't going to Alexis body over there on the floor in all that blood. But she was losing hope.  
_Alexis, I have failed you_ she sighed. _What about what Castle must be feeling. I have to know._

"Castle,"

"Leave me alone." He shouted, "You've done enough." She saw Castle drop out of her sight. He knelt down, cradling the faceless body in his arms.

"My baby..." That's all the words that Beckett needed, to know that, they had found his daughter. Castle kept rocking the corpse of what he thought was his daughter. Beckett felt numb unable to do hardly anything.

"Is it?" She had to ask Ryan just to make sure that is was.

"We don't know...the face..." He didn't have to finish. Beckett could read it off his expression. Beckett turned she almost lost it, sure she had seen dead bodies before in her time but this one this one will haunt her forever. She sat on the edge of the bed. Her heart dropping, she was just waiting for it to be ripped into two.

"Should we..." Esposito came up to her.

"Give him time." She managed to say. "He deserves that much," _and give me time too_ she thought. _I failed both of them. Now...I have to live with this_. Ryan and Esposito sat on either side of her. Put their hands on her shoulder. She could still hear Castle balling in the background, he seemed far away from her. "We..." all three hugged each other.

"This is not over, we will get justice for her." shot an angry Esposito.

"I'll call it in, to Lanie." She turned to face them, then walked out of the room, leaving her partner... ex-parnter...she was sure of that now, behind.

"Hi, this is Beckett call me back, we..." She sniffed in the phone. "Just call me." She put her phone away and stood in the doorway listening to Esposito and Ryan talk.

"Man, poor Beckett." Esposito, stated.

"Poor Beckett?" Ryan shouted. "What about...Castle...I could never imagine, the pain in his heart now."

"He's not in a good place bro. poorer of poor, he's never going to recover." He shook his head, "I might not either bro," Esposito looked away, towards Castle who was still holding, the body tight. "I feel his pain."

"Daddy's here, your safe now." They heard Castle called out, not knowing or caring anyone heard him. "I'll take you home. No one can ever hurt you again." Beckett wanted to be there for Castle but she didn't know how or if he would want her there. She didn't even know how she was going to get over this...herself...

Lanie arrives. "Is this the building?" She walks in the back door, "now where?" Then she sees Beckett crying by one of the door frames. _oh no..._  
"Oh honey, I came as quick as I could." Beckett glanced up, tears still flowing from her eyes. Laine embraced her friend. "Is it?"  
"I think so..." she hugged Lanie tighter.

"How's he doing?"

Beckett sniffed. "Not good," she paused. "I don't know how to help him. I don't even think he wants me here."

"Okay sweetie," Laine tries to walk her friend back into the room so she can find a place to sit her down. But Beckett wouldn't move.

"I can't..."

"Shhh..." the two friends stand there. "I failed him...I failed her...I blame..."

"Don't girl. It's not."

"Yes it is," yelled a man's voice.

"Was that?" Beckett nodded. "He blames you?"

"Possibly."

"He's just hurting, grieving."

"He..." Beckett was able to walk again. Both entered the room.

"Where's?" Esposito just points. "Oh no, not..."

"He hasn't let go of her."

"He probably wont." added Ryan.

"Guys, you need to leave, this way." Lanie curled her finger for the boys to follow. Then when they do, she puts her finger to her lips. shh...

"I want him to think that it's just me and him okay, so stand by Beckett and try not to move." She whispered. They both nodded.

"Yes, ma'am." Esposito responded and Lanie rolled her eyes.

"Castle," Lanie calls loud so he could hear her. She heard his soft sniffing. "I have to...

"I'm not letting her go." Lanie walks closer to him, then comes to a complete stop. _Beckett didn't mention that...that she..._Lanie took a deep breath. Not really wanting to look at what was...becoming a great young woman. She could feel her heart break. _Beckett was right, he'll never be the same. Not after seeing that...  
focus..._she reminded herself..._I have a job to do...a really hard one. Now I see why he's not letting her go. I have to do this though... she swallowed, hard._

"I have to take..."

"No," Castle didn't even look at her. "I won't let you have her."

"Castle, -Rick, can I call you that?" she didn't get a response."I..." He just shook his head. _This should be Beckett with him_. "Sweetie, I need to..."

"But why? I just want to hold her." Laine bent down next to him. He kept his eyes shut, still rocking her limb body.

"Look at me." She placed her hand under his chin. _This is something that Beckett should be doing with him. holding him._ She tilted his head, his eyes still closed. "Listen to me,"

"I can't."

"Shhhh...now okay..." she took a deep breath, this is going to be harder then I thought. "I'll take care of her..." _What's...don't say that._  
Castle blinked for the first time all evening,. She saw nothing in his eyes, no spark, no glimmer, nothing at all, nothing but emptiness.

"I..."

"Shh...shhh...I know." She leaned in to hug him. "I know sweetie," she whispered as soft as could without crying herself. This is not what she expected to be doing on her friend's birthday. That made this even harder to handle. "But I need to..."

"I just can't...not yet." She slipped her fingers over his. "When ever you are ready." She could feel his fingers relaxing some. "Please, I know it's hard."  
Actually she didn't. She couldn't imagine anything close to this, couldn't image the pain...the heartache. He slowly started to let go, one finger at a time.

"That's it slow, slow," _this is going to take all night, but I have to be patient with him, not rush him..._ she swallowed. "That's it..."

"I wonder how it's going over there?" Ryan whispered to Esposito.

"Lanie's the best. If she can't do it no one can, well without force."

"Will you two be quiet." Beckett whispered, glaring at them.

"There we go." Laine was finally able to get Castle to let go of the body. "I'll take good care of her." Lanie held the body against her as she walked closer to where the guys were still standing.

"He's never gonna be the same, he's empty inside." She faced Beckett, "I would pat you on the back but..." Lanie shook her head. "Someone needs to be with him." She nods, hoping that Beckett would take the hint. "He doesn't need to be alone right now."  
All three walk towards Castle. He stands up, covered in blood, his daughter's blood.  
_Lanie's right, Beckett saw the emptiness in his eyes. Her heart broke even more, what have I done?_

"I never want to talk to you again." Castle shouted at Beckett. "Never!"

TBC...

**Warning...Warning...Warning...please read:**

**remember this is a 'Castle story' forgiveness is needed. ****This story has content that is not...well Castle like in next two chapters but keep reading-hint hint. (but I don't want to spoil that either). Please continue reading this story...And forgive the way it was written, I saw this chapter as a dream but it wasn't Alexis...it was Beckett-I cried when I woke up. No Character should have to die-hint hint.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Warning: This chapter contain some language that well, I don't usually add in my stories but it just fit, the way the character  
was feeling at the time that I wrote it... it adds to the drama...sorry...**** I just want you to be prepared. so if you want ****to blast me, cause you didn't like it please read the whole story then if you still feel that way then, ****then go for it. I like feed back, it makes me a better writer.  
****Also I don't own any of the characters from Castle, ****please read chapter to chapter. so here is chapter 14.**

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 14**

Esposito lead him out, "You don't have to bro, come on with me. I'll drive you."

"I'll just get a ride with Beckette then," Ryan called out. Beckett tossed Ryan her keys.

"You drive," Ryan was in shock, he just stood there staring. Beckett never let anyone drive her car but tonight she didn't think she could.  
"Are you coming?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry it's just..."

"Tonight only, never ask again." He just nodded. The way back to the precinct seemed to take longer this time and the silence, that was the killer. Ryan didn't want to interrupt Beckett's thoughts. He didn't really know what to say to her. The atmosphere of the precinct was different. Beckett didn't see Castle anywhere...what would she say to him anyway. Sorry I failed just didn't seem good enough. Nothing did. He was heart broken and nothing was going to fix that. _I just hope...that one day he will forgive me._

Ryan read her mind, when he asked where Castle was.  
Esposito pointed. Castle was talking to his mother. Well trying to without crying.

_Oh, no his mother,_ Beckett totally forgot about her. _What lies was he telling her_. Montgomery came up.

"I heard he found her. In her own blood. with..."  
They just nodded. "so, so sad."

"It is sir."

"You know that this now becomes, a murder investigation."  
Beckett walked to her desk. The chair that will never smile, the board, with Alexis' smiling face pic still on it, that will never be the same, And _neither will I._ She sat down in her chair, reaching in her desk drawer. She secretly took out a picture of Castle and Alexis at the book signing 13 years ago. She held it close to her chest. _Alexis forgive me, I..._ She swallowed, _help your father forgive me too._ She looked up to see Ryan standing there.

"Sorry, but the captain wants to talk to all of us."

"Even..."

Ryan nodded. "Even Castle."

"Be right there." She placed the photo back in the desk drawer but Ryan got a glimpse of it. He turned quickly away before Beckett noticed that he saw the pic.  
Beckett wiped the tears out of her eyes with her palms before heading to the office. She stopped for a minute and returned to the white board and flipped it, _I can't do this any more.  
__Breath Beckett breath_ she reminded herself.

She knew that everyone was probably waiting on her. She forced herself to move. one step then another. Sitting at his desk, the Captain was waiting.

"Right now, Lanie is doing..." He stopped and glanced at Castle. "Anyway this is now a murder case." Castle leaned against the wall out of the way. He didn't even look at Beckett. She didn't blame him for that. She felt responsible. "I'm sorry Mr. Castle..." The captain comment.

"Things happen." he responded coldly. "And you move on." _That was to make me feel worse, wasn't it._ Beckett thought. _And You did just that. now...you're getting me back_. Her heart was finally broken into two. She closed her eyes, _you mean we...move on._ Beckett swallow hoping no one saw. She wasn't listening to the Captain's words. She was watching Castle becoming colder and colder. This was all her fault if she just...

_just what?_ her mind said.  
_told him...that you loved him._

Montgomery said something about Castle staying with Beckett. "I'm not staying with that..." he stopped himself and took a breath. "Woman. The woman who..." that got her attention to listen.

_What? He wanted to say something else call me something else and he'd have every right to. he's just hurting but he's right...I..._  
_no you didn't..._  
_but I feel..._  
_then find the bastard who did this,  
find the bastard that destroy his life,  
find the bastard your life..._

"I can't take this." Castle starts to leave.

"Do something bro." Esposito said, worried that if they couldn't convince him to stay he would leave, leave forever and Esposito was not going to let that happen. He was Castle's friend and they had each other's backs.

"You could stay with me, you're more then welcome." Ryan suggested, hoping that Castle would take his offer. "I have those spear rooms."  
Castle stood there as to think about it for a second. Then he turns to look at Ryan. He nodded, "sure," was all that he could come up with. As he and Ryan passed Beckett Castle gave her a hurtful look. Beckett watched him. She knew now that things weren't ever going to be the same between them. He was stabbed in heart and nothing was going to make it any better. When he was out of sight, Beckett threw a folder with paper in it at her desk scattering them everywhere.

"Beckett, in my office now!" yelled Montgomery.

"I'm sorry about the papers, I'll clean them up."

"What papers,"

"Oh, nothing." _so he didn't see that, that's a relieve._

"No I wanted to know what is going on with the two you? It's like..."

"He blames me sir..." she had to sit down at the table.

"But you..."

"If I just went with my gut instead..." she wanted to say heart. "Then maybe his daughter would still be alive."

He walked up behind her, "Kate listen to me..." He put his hands on her shoulders. "You're a good...great...one of the best detective. Don't forget that, we will get the son-of-a-bitch who did this to his family."

"I sure hope so," She slide her hand down her face and let it stop in front of her mouth.

"Go home and get some rest, if you can. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow." She left the office and noticed all the papers cleaned up. Esposito, she smiled. Beckett took one long look at the chair that Castle always sat at. _That damn chair had got to go. That will be the frist thing that I'll do tomorrow. Why me? _She lowered her head as she thought of poor Alexis,_ why her? There was never a ransom...some revenge then...those bastards. _She slammed her fist into the desk in frustration.

"If I get my hands on..." she slammed her hand again. "What did Alexis ever do to anyone? We...no I will catch your killer Alexis, count my words." She yelled out to a nearly empty squad room.

"As always," she thinks she heard someone say.

"I owe her that much. I owe Castle that much."

"And you will get them, you always do." a louder voice.

"Who?"

"Just the janitor, detective." He took his baseball cap off and nodded to her. Then put his hat back on and continued doing his work.

TBC...

**another warning here: The next chapter has Beckett and Castle having the same nightmare...just a friendly warning.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Warning:**

**this chapter contains some graphic images I just want you to be prepared. This chapter was written as I saw it happen. ****so if you want to blast me, cause you didn't like it please read the whole story then if you still feel that way then,**  
**then go for it. I like feed back, it makes me a better writer. Remember this show does have dead bodies, blood ect...so I wrote some in there, it adds to the drama. I hope that no fans of the show hate the way I wrote it. I just thought the twist was the right one for this story, so tell me what you think ****I don't own any of the characters from Castle. Off to chapter 15...fire away.**

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 15**

On the way to her apartment, the only thing she thought about was what was going to happen to Castle if they did catch...wait there was no they, she was in this alone. He never wanted to see her again. They would go back to their own lives, very different lives. That's going to be impossible. A bubble bath that's what I need...A nice warm bubble bath.

She pours bubble bath, strawberry scented, into the claw foot tub and turns the water on. She could already smell the strawberry scent invade her nose. Now, she could relax at little. She changes into her robe and got a glass of wine from the kitchen while her bath filled. She sipped on the wine and already felt as if she was starting to relax. _Now nothing is going to bother me._ She place her glass on the side of the tub, striped her rob and slowly stepped into the warm, soapy water. Her muscles relaxed. After getting settled just right, she picked up her glass, sipping on her wine again, as she laid her head back.

Closing her eyes she took a long deep breath, then an image of Castle came to mind.  
_No Castle get out of my mind, not now._ _This is my alone time._ Her mind tried to think of other things but it was all about that look. The look...the glare after Lanie took...the emptiness in his eyes. _How am I going to get past this?_ she wondered.  
_Treat it as any other case Katie,_ she could hear her father say. _Find him...find him...  
My father's right I have to find him...  
find him? what?  
the killer...  
__yes the killer or killers_

_I'm not going to get much sleep tonight. _She closed her eyes again. She saw her mother._ Things will work out the way they are suppose to...just believe. _Her eyes opened fast._ This is not how things are to be...I better get out of here. _She stepped from the tub, put on a shirt. Then her phone rang.

"Beckett,"

"Hey sweetie."

"Dad what's wrong?"

_"_Nothing, I just got in and wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday." he could hear her crying on the line. "Are you okay Katie..."

"It's just a cast that we are working on."

He took a deep breath, "I know. Castle's daughter's murder."

"Word travels fast."

"No, I heard it from Martha, she blasted my answering machine with so many messages." a pause. "I'm sorry, so so sorry. You will find them...you always get you man."

"yes,"_ yes but not in time, she wanted to say._

"You sound like you're beat. Get some rest. Tomorrow's a new day and remember Kate...I love you."

"Love you too dad." After hanging up the phone and pulling back her sheets on her bed, the phone rang again.

"Beckett," then the dial tone. "Wrong number. oh well," she placed the phone back down on the night stand next to her gun. "Soft sheets here I come." she curled up and shut her eyes.

_**Darkness**_

_**Darkness**_

_**darkness engulfed her...Ah now...**_

**_Beckett coud see Alexis running right in front of her. "Alexis wait, come back." but this wasn't her voice, it was a man's voice._**  
**_Alexis turned her head around "No you can't have me." Arms reached out, grabbed Alexis and threw her on a bed, "Get off me," she yelled. The two struggled, hands trying to strangle her. Alexis yelling out for her father._**  
**_"I'm coming," Castle's voice rang out. "I'm coming." Castle comes to a halt just as the figures hit the floor._**  
**_"Let go of my daughter." The figure held up a gun._ **Beckett struggles to wake up but her mind won't let her. _**Looking into the terrified face of Alexis then the gun goes off.** _

Beckett shot up out of her bed. Breathing heavy and sweating. "It was just a nightmare," she swallowed and pushed wet hair out of her face. She laid her head back down. She closed her eyes again, but all she could see was the terrified look on Alexis' face and then hears the gun shot.

"Castle..." she shouts out loud before she realizes it.

TBC...

**XXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **

**warning: Sorry about the nightmare, I wasn't going to add it in here but the more that I thought about it the more it just...fit it's way in. Please continue...please forgive...**


	16. Chapter 16

******Warning: This chapter contains some graphic images/suggestions I just want you to be prepared. This chapter was written as I saw it happen. ****so if you want to blast me, cause you didn't like it please read the whole story then if you still feel that way then,**  
**then go for it. I like feed back, it makes me a better writer. Remember this show does have dead bodies, blood ect...so I wrote some in there, it adds to the drama. I hope that no fans of the show hate the way I wrote it. I just thought the twist was the right one for this story, so tell me what you think.**

******Also this chapter may leave Castle fans well hurt. I hope not. I upped the rating cause of the situation of Castle's charater...hint hint. ****I don't own any of the characters from Castle. Now back to the story. **

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 16**

"Beckett..." Castle shot up out bed, rolling off, hitting the floor. "Ow." He sat on the floor, he was so shaken after seeing what he saw...He didn't have the strength to move, more less pick himself up. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts of this nightmare. Was this nightmare going to relive that scene for the rest of his life. The sence of Beckett shooting his daughter in the face. He wiped his face with his hand. A few minutes later he was able to get up. He sat on the edge of the bed.

Beckett didn't kill my daughter but...if I wasn't...could I have saved her...would she still be alive...Screw Beckett...screw the department...tears formed in his eyes, but he wasn't going to let them fall. I need a drink.

Maybe Ryan's got something hard for him. When looking for something hard to drink, he sees Ryan's gun in a drawer. _Maybe..._He looks at the gun then closes the drawer then opens it back open. _I can't take the pain any more...should I take it?_

He picks the gun up and brings it to the den, places it on the table in front of him. He sits back on the couch stares at the gun while he drinks.

He thinks about what his life is going to be like without his little girl's smiling face. No more lazartag or no more daddy talks, no more Alexis. He gets up and walks around the table a few times, thinking, staring at the gun. Wanting to pick it up. The one thing...that could end all his pain. Then walks to the window, stares out. See's his daughter's bloody body walking towards him. He steps back jumping and almost screams. He swallows, breathing out of his mouth, he racing back to the couch. He scribbles something on some paper he finds on the table. He picks up the gun from the holster, then puts it back down  
_no_  
_yes, do it that way you can be with your daughter again_  
_I can't...I can't leave Bec..._  
_yes you can...your daughter's dead because of her...she did this to you._

Tears drip from his eyes. _Was that true...what if...I...I don't know_

He closes his eyes the peaceful voice of Beckett comes telling him that his life does have meaning and that she wont be able to live with herself.  
and that she is sorry and guilty of what happened to him.

_how come I can't get that voice out of my head, I told her how I felt and she doesn't feel the same about me now she's sorry _  
_she doesn't care about you...she wouldn't have..._  
_yes, she does kiddo, his mother's voice interrupted._  
_she does dad...don't do this..._  
_how am I..._  
_dad trust me...don't do anything that you will regret._

Dad...he thinks that he really hears his daughter talking to him. So he opens his eyes and looks around. See's his daughter all bloody. ah...he screams then realizes he is sleeping on the couch.

_I can't do this any more, I have to._

He picks up the gun again  
_Remember kiddo, there is no one to blame it was an accident, a terrible tragic accident  
that was no accident someone killed my daughter  
if you die then who will get the killer of our baby... his mother's voice rings out in one last attempt to help her son. don't blame the people who love you and yes I mean Beckett._  
_mother  
__she does love you, she wants to help you...remember that, remember all those good times..._her voice fades and a flashback begins

of when he first meet Kate and all the smiles that she brought him. The sparkle that he saw in her eyes, when he brought her coffee everyday. He felt the cold gun in his hands,  
_kate...I need you... you're the one that can help me...out of this...I love you..._  
_then put the gun down and call me her smoothing calm peaceful voice said to him._

He picks up the phone.

I_ can do this. I can do this._  
_Dad you have the strength. look inside you...  
I love you Alexis  
I love you daddy...  
_

He hesitates, looking to the ceiling, shaking his head...He dails her number.

"Beckett." He always loved it when she said that.

" I can't take..." something in Castle voice was different.

"Castle? Castle what's wrong?"

"I can't take this anymore."

"What?" then it hit her like a ton of bricks of what he meant.

"I..." he sniffed.

"Don't do anything, I'm on my way." She grabbed some cloths and raced to her car. Hoping that she was not going to be to late.

TBC...

**Warning: When I saw this in another dream about well...my past...yes me...I thought I add it to show how, deep cuts don't heal. Continue on... remember "forgiveness is needed"**


	17. Chapter 17

**********Warning: This chapter contains some graphic images/suggestions I just want you to be prepared. This chapter was written as I saw it happen. Please forgive me. Some might not...Remember this is a 'Castle' story-hint, hint. anyway here's chapter 17.**

**Holding my heart  
****chapter 17**

"Castle?" she tries the door, it opens with ease. Not a good sign. It never was. Was he even there?

"Castle?" There was no response. "Castle?" she called a little louder. That wasn't good. She stepped in. "Castle?" she called again. She swallowed. She sees the back of the couch and Castle's head.  
Her heart drops and panic rises, _Is she too late._  
She goes around to the front of the couch and sees him holding the gun in his hand.

"I can't take this?"

"Castle give me the gun." She reaches out for it.

"I," he lefts it some. She had to think fast before he...she sat next to him.

"Castle look at me, this is not the way,"

"Way to what, I," he looked up at her.  
_take a chance Beckett... take a chance_

She took her hand and placed it on his face, then leaned into him to hiss him. while doing so she slipped her other hand over the gun and slid it out of his hand. She placed the gun on the table. Then she noticed that Ryan put the safety, something that Castle didn't know about, on the gun before holstering, _thank you Ryan_ she whispered.

"Beckett, I..."

"shhh...we don't want to wake Ryan." she took him by the hand.

"Beckett this is not..." Beckett gets him to stand up and walks him away from the couch. Not seeing the note that he left her. She leads him to her car, hoping that he will follow her.

"Beckett, I have to confess..."

"Hold that thought," she gets in the car from the other side.

"I have to confess." _you can do this tell her_, _she's your friend. his mother's voice rang through out his head. talk to her,_

"Confess?" she swallows. _This is not about..._

he brushed his hand through his hair. "I..." he lowered his head and blinked. "I thought about ending my life more then once tonight."

"What? why?"

"Beckett, I'm sorry,"

"For?"

"All of this, I..." he opened the car door.

"Where are you going?" she grabbed him by the arm. "Not without another kiss." he smiled. _That's the smile I want to see._

He climbed back into her car. He confessed that he had pick up Ryan's gun a few times, then put it back down.

"That's why you didn't want to stay with me."

"Why cause you sleep your gun?" he winks.

"How do you know that?"

"Secret's my dear,"

"I otta..."

"What hit me?" he grinned that childish look she couldn't resist and he knew it. "You wouldn't..."

"Don't tempt me. I'll do more then hit you." Beckett's phone this time it went through the stereo's system.

"How cool is that?" Castle commented.

"Shhhhh..."

"Did you just shush me?" She glared a death glare at him and he was quiet.

"Beckett here."

"Hey, girl, is Castle with you?"

"Yes,"

"I hope so, but for other reasons."

"What does that mean?" he mouthed at Beckett. She put her fingers to his lips, sending heat through his body. _oh_ he got it and she swears she could see him blushing.

"Yes, I'm with him, he's..." she lied. "He's still upset." Castle tried not to laugh, but inside he was still empty, wanting to be filled again.

"Well, tell him not to be."

"Uh, what?" both said, that's when Lanie figured she was on speaker phone.

"How sweet." Beckett rolled her eyes, Lanie was always pushing her to get closer Castle.

"I don't..." Beckett started.

"The body..." Castle turned to look out the window, obviously Lanie just cut him down again.

"That wasn't his daughter."

"What? How is that..." both said again.

"That means that my daughter's..." his eyes lit up like a kid seeing santa brought him what he wanted for Christmas. He started clapping his hands. "my daughter she's still alive, she's still alive."

"As far as we know Alexis is still alive, somewhere out there." Beckett saw that he hung his head again, the little boy magic was gone once again. Beckett's heart dropped. _what an emotional ride for him,_

"Thanks, Lanie." _yeah that's for the high then a crashing low_.

"Castle we'll find her." She tried to give him courage again. She reached over and took his hand, "It's going to be alright,"

"I hope so, I can't go through this again." He shook the thought. But he couldn't stop the tears from coming back.

"You're not alone." He untangled his fingers from hers and stared out the window, not looking at her. Beckett know that they were back at square one, trying to find his daughter. She slowly drove in the night, no one else was on the road. She looked at the clock. 3am. She should be in her bed asleep. 3:45 still driving. "How long can I keep this up, talk to me Castle, keep me awake."  
"Castle?" She glanced over at him he was asleep snoring softly.

N_ow why can't I get some sleep like that_.  
_He's been through hell and back.  
Yes he has. _

Her phone rang again, making both Her and Castle jump. "Beckett here."  
it was a panic Ryan.  
"Castle's gone...he's...oh no...he's got my old gun."

"Ryan relax..." Beckett called,

"How can I? my gun is gone... and there's a note..." _oh no the note. I forgot about the note. I forgot to pick it up before we left. Castle wanted to kick himself for that one._

"Ryan, listen to me Castle's with me," she swallowed.

"What?" Ryan sounded confused now.

"Sorry, I scared you...like that." Castle spoke. "I had a nightmare, and needed to talk to someone..."

"Why did you take my gun?" then Ryan thought about it, read the note that he found on the floor. _no he didn't think about ending his life, not with my gun._

"Ryan," without telling him everything that had happen Beckett told Ryan that his gun was on the table in the den by the couch. "Thank you." whispered Castle, she winked.

"Castle, you scared the shit out of me, don't do that again."

"I wont. and the note," Castle ask. He wanted that note back, so no one would especially Beckett or this mother, oh no his mother, to read it.

"I'll threw it away."

"There was note?" Beckett mouthed to Castle. "What note?"

"Not now."

"So where are the two of you?" Ryan wanted to know, even though he knew that was none of his business.

"Wouldn't you like to know buddie?"

"Castle..." Beckett yelled.

_That's what I want to hear the two of them arguing love spatter.-(Ryan's mind)_

"We're in my car driving around looking for Alexis." Beckett responded, looking out the window at the passing buildings. _She could be anywhere_.

"What, I thought."

"Wasn' t her..."

Driving around the streets of NY at this hour was the last thing that she wanted to be doing but if it kept Castle safe from himself then it was well worth it. She just didn't know how much longer she could do it. How much longer her car could go, she needed gas but didn't want to stop. But if she didn't they be on the side of the road. She slammed on her brakes. Castle placed his hands out in front of him.

"Beckett... " Ryan's voice cried out. "Everything okay?"

"We will have to call you back." click.

"You hung up on him?" Beckett put the car in reverse. "Woa, slow down." Castle saw his loft go by.

She stopped quick again. "I..." she slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Shhhh, look is that..." She pointed out her window, he leaned over.

TBC...

**Now I see if you read this chapter you made it! anyway...forgiveness is now mine right?**


	18. Chapter 18

**Warning: are you feeling the love?**

**Holding my heart**  
**chapter 18**

Castle couldn't tell, he noticed two people sit on a porch outside the building that was two doors down from his loft.  
Castle opened his door. Beckett was next to him, in no time.

"Wait Castle before we do this..."

"I know, not to get my hopes up." He swallowed, "I just..." _He...we want this to over, he wants to find her. We do this together._  
She took his hand. He took a deep breath.

"What if..."

"What if it is?" she glanced at him and he locked eyes with hers and nodded. "Can you handle this?"

"Can I? Do you know what I've been through tonight?" He steps towards the sidewalk where the street light lite up his face.

"Dad? detective Beckett?" Alexis calls seeing them in the light.

"Alexis? Alexis." he yells running towards her. He grabs her up in his arms, spinning her around.

"Not in front of."

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Castle." still hugging his daughter tight shakes hands with Teddy.

"You've been here the whole time? on the porch?" he gives Teddy the death ray glare.

"No, we..." The look in Teddy's eyes told Castle that they too had been through it. "We got away, and were just talking?" Alexis defends both of them.

"Nobody, checked the front porch." he turned to look at Beckett.

"We didn't..." Beckett swallowed. Some of that was her fault, "We didn't know. We were focused on the dead corpse."

"Oh, the one that I was rocking." A shiver went up his spine at the memory.

"Dad, you were holding a dead corpse?" Alexis asked confused.

"I'll tell you all about that later." He grabbed his daughter again. "I just want to hold you."

"Dad,"

"Sorry sweetie, I never want to let you go."

"Even for..." Alexis points to Beckett who, after seeing them hug went back, to stand by the car. Alexis waves at her. She smiles back.

"Come help me," Alexis mouths, she loves her dad but...sometimes. Beckett hesitates, she wants to give him time with his daughter.

"Dad, go to her. You know that you want to."

"That's my girl." _Thinking of someone else's feelings above her own._

"She is too." He fake punches his daughter in the arm, "I'm going to get you for that one."  
by now Beckett is walking towards them. "Well, she could be." His daughter winks.

"Detective Beckett." Alexis smiles, "Thank you." she walks to see Teddy.

Ryan and Esposito give each other high five as they watch Beckett and Castle get ready to kiss.

"It's about time." Ryan said. "Finally some action between them."

"You got that right bro."

Watching her father kiss Beckett was something that Alexis wasn't quiet sure to make of. She like Beckett better the all the others but she knew it might end the same way. so she would have to help her father on that end, so that wouldn't happen. she wanted him to be happy and he was with Beckett, or so he seemed to be. Then she, all of a sudden, saw him go down in her arms.

"Dad!" Alexis screams running over to her Dad and Beckett.

Beckett cradles Castle as he starts to fall.

"Alexis, stay with your mom and dad, I got this." Teddy runs after a guy he sees running away.

"Did I just hear a ?" Esposito asked then saw that Beckett was holding Castle, with what he believed to be blood on her fingers.

"Oh no, not that, not now."

"Ryan those kid's, Run." Esposito yells, at Ryan. He takes off after the boys.

Teddy tackles Buddy down, then punches him in the face. "Ow. I bit that hurt." Ryan turns his head.

"You son-of-bitch, you shot him." Yelled Teddy, both of them went rolling in the dirt. Cops sirens rang out then scratching to a halt. "Hands up." yelled one of the officers and he got out of his car. "your both under arrest." They broke them apart. Buddy tried to get away.

"He..." Teddy pointed. The officer lead them away from each other. The officer holding onto younger guy, ripped the mask off.

"Buddy. how..." Teddy's voice rang out. "I don't..."

Alexis races off after seeing that her dad and Beckett were going to be okay.

Castle stands looking around, "Where's my daughter?"

Esposito shakes his head "Ryan,"

"Right." Ryan races over to Beckett's car and sees Alexis by the window. "Is that the boy?"

Alexis turns and hugs him, "He didn't do anything Ryan."

"Alexis."

"I knew I was there. He's the one who saved me." Even in handcuffs Teddy broke the car window. "I didn't do it but I know who did."

The cops dragged him out of Beckett's car and place him in the new police car that just arrived. "No!" Alexis screamed. Ryan had to hold her back.

"Alexis, it will be all right." The cops push him into the car and slam the door. Alexis hugs Ryan again. He wrapped his arms around her but didn't really know what to do.  
"We'll short it all out." by the that time Castle joins Ryan and his daughter. Beckett sees her car window, "Not my new car!" _New car, Ryan thought that's why she wouldn't let anyone drive it._

"I'll fix that." Castle calls to her.

"Na, don't worry about it," she raises her eyes brows, "but I'll let you fix me," Castle has to bite his lip, but then realizes his daughter is standing right there.

"Not in front of my daughter,"

"Dad I'm not a little kid anymore... if you wanna."

"utum." Ryan interrupts this family moment.

"Right," Castle calls. "To the precinct. " he lifts his arm like superman "Away." Beckett, Ryan and Esposito all laugh.

"He's back." Ryan calls.

at the precinct:

Beckett, sees Montgomery, with Buddy who was in hand cuffs.

"Shooting at federal agents."

"I didn't. Get him to booking." The guards take Buddy away.

"I'm a federal agent."

Beckett lowered her head. _oh no. _She walked to her desk, to watch from a distance.

"As of today." Castle starts to dance gives two thumbs up. She had to laugh. Montgomery hands him his very own card. "This, well you deserve it."

"My very own card too, how awesome is that." Then he reads the card. "Federal writer consultant." Both Ryan and Esposito can't help but laugh, for they, along with Beckett came up with the idea.

"You said that you wanted to be part like us,"

"And now bro you are." Esposito slapped him on the shoulder.

"You're part of the family. Mr. Castle." Montgomery shook his hand.

"You guys," Castle hugs them. "watch the shoulder." He was just grazed and he acts like a baby, oh wait it's Castle we're talking about. (Esposito mind) Castle winks at Beckett. _Ryan's right, 'Kid Castle' is back. That's the Castle that I love.  
Tell him my dear..._  
_I think he already knows.  
You haven't really told him though.  
Get out of my head Martha.  
Just trying to help my son I... and Alexis__.  
out... Wait you know Martha what would having a baby with Castle be like...  
don't go there kate...not yet, just enjoy him  
out_

"You had something to do with this, did you?" She glance up at Castle. "Thanks," he sat down in the chair that was next to her desk."Where's?"

"Castle you can't watch her 24/7."

"No but I can try."

"Dad I can hear you." Alexis said, sitting only a few feet away, with Teddy.

"Are you being arrested?" Alexis asked, Teddy who was still siting, with a guard watching him. "No." he swallowed. "My brother is..."

"Your brother, that's who?"

Teddy nodded. "Looks that way."

TBC...


	19. Chapter 19-ending

**Warning: am I forgiven yet? anyway, this is the last part. Hope you enjoyed the 'rush' on my Castle story. Winks. Do you feel the love between them?**

**Holding my heart**  
**chapter 19 (ending)**

Teddy played the scene over and over in his mind. Why would his brother shoot Castle? _there was no need to..._  
_wait I never saw a gun. If he had one where is it? Did the cops have and are not telling anyone?_ He played the scene  
one last time trying to see the gun, _no there wasn't one, or at least Buddy didn't have it, he wouldn't know how to use one_  
_anyway._ He watched in his mind how Mr. Castle just went into his wife's arms..._I didn't hear shots either. so maybe...don't think that_  
_there is another person gunning for them. wait, in the building I heard someone firing at Alexis and me, then she said_  
_was not the same one that kidnapped her. so...maybe my brother was acting with someone else, Teddy shook that thought_  
_no Buddy's...well he just wouldn't know how. if this is all true then...should I tell the Castles' that there's someone_  
_else..._He felt Alexis hand on his shoulder. He had his answer he needed to tell them or at least Alexis.

"Deep in thought." she said, smiling at him. He could always count on her to make him feel better. she even did that when he was spying on her.

"Yeah,"

"I can't imagine...a family member doing this."

"He didn't."

"What?"

"The kidnapping maybe but not the shooting," she looks at her dad, laughing at something Beckett was saying.

"What do you mean?" She whispered, so her dad wont hear this part anyway.

"There's..." he looked into her eyes, _oh those eyes..._

"Don't tell me." her shoulders drop. she shook her head. "I can't tell him."

"Well, don't."

"I can't keep secrets from my dad." she sighed. "That's why we work so good together."

"well, we don't really know yet so, it's not like you are keeping it from him,"

Alexis sighed, "You're right." she perked up. "We don't know for sure, we might not."

"I'm going to find out though."

"I'm going with you."

"Going with him where?" Castle was coming to see what was going on-basically snooping.

"Your brother is almost done, then you can talk to him." The clerk at the desk called.

"It was your brother." Castle stepped forward. "Your brother did this!" he voice getting louder.  
He stepped forward again. Alexis swallowed for she didn't know what her father might do hearing that. She touched his arm.  
"Dad," she put on her best plea look but when she saw the fury burning in her father's eyes, she know that it might not be enough.

_Remember what I told you._  
He heard Angel's voice in his head.  
_hug your daughter and walk away.  
it's not worth it. __your daughter needs you  
and you need your daughter. go now with her and walk away..._

Castle got free from his daughter.  
_Oh no, _she thought._ What's he going to do now._ He surprised her.

"Come on Alexis we're leaving." He took his daughter by the arm and started to walk off.  
Alexis turned to look at Teddy who just nodded. "I'll call you later." He winked at her.  
Just then the guards walked out with Buddy.

"Why?" Teddy asked. Castle wanted to know that to. _Why him, why his family._

"I did it for you..." Buddy explained, struggling with the guard.

"What?"

"You always said..." Buddy didn't have time to finish his sentence before, the cops pushed him to the elevator. The door closes, leaving Teddy wondering. What his brother was going to say.  
"I've got to see what he wanted to say to me." He walked up to the desk. "Where are they taking him?"

"Down the stairs door to the right, the holding cells." Teddy took the stairs, Alexis was right behind him.

"I'm going with you."

Just as they got there, Buddy was being thrown in the cage, the one that Castle was in.

The door shut, Castle who was standing just in the door frame just out of sight from Teddy and Alexis, cringed. _Not a good memory_.  
Then he saw that Angel was still there resting. He didn't know that he had passed away. no one did.

"What did you mean? 'you always said..." Buddy turned to face Teddy,

"Oh, you always said that you want to meet Richard Castle." Castle hearing his name stepped closer so he could hear. "The father of all fathers  
and his... and I quote really cute daughter, end quote."

"Yes but... not like this." Alexis was now staring at Teddy, she now understood the spying...the story that he told her about wanted to meet her.

"It was now or never brother." Buddy continued.

"So you decided to kidnapped her."

"I wasn't going to hurt her." his brother pleaded.

"Hurt her?" Teddy glared at his brother, "No you almost tore..." a tear of both sadness and anger entered Teddy's eyes.  
"Tore the prefect family apart."

How could his own brother do this after he knew my secret crush on the Castles'. After seeing his brothers disapproval Buddy lowered his head "I..." he sniffed. Alexis looked over at her father. They exchanged looks, a love between them. Castle knew that his family was weird but not perfect, _who's family is, _he thought.

Beckett, who was standing behind Castle unseen smiled, _He does have the perfect family, he just needs to be reminded of that from time to time._  
Buddy finally looks up and seeing the two standing the doorway, he assumed that that was the Castle and his wife, he had seen  
them together so many times, when he was spying on the Castle's.

"I'm sorry..Mr. Castle," Buddy sniffed.  
"I'm sorry Alexis," he sniffed again.  
"I'm sorry Mrs. Castle," he sniffed again and rubbed his nose, "I didn't mean to...I didn't mean." tears dripped down the young boy's face. "For this to go this way. I just..." he wiped his eyes with the edge on his shirt. "I never had a mom and dad like Alexis...I just..." he turned away and sat on the patted bench crying.

Both Castle and Beckett stare at each other cause of what he said, a mom and a dad...

"We could make a great team Castle," Beckett whispers in his ear and then walked away.

"Wait, are you saying?"

**the end!**

Hope that all Castle fans liked the story.


End file.
